Think back. Way back. To your high school dances. Have you ever been dancing with someone and they are looking around the room? Possibly they're looking to see who's watching them and what they are thinking, or possibly they're looking at (or for) more attractive dance partners. Either way, it doesn't feel good.
That's how it feels when someone is constantly looking at their phone when I'm out with them.
Now, I'm fortunate enough to have a group of friends who are techno-savvy as well as polite enough to make me feel like they really want to be there with me, not whoever may call or text in the next five minutes. But I know I'm one of the lucky ones.
It's the elephant in the room that makes us feel like "old fogies" when we bring it up. I didn't include it in my last article, but it deserves some discussion. It's not just etiquette, it's a lack of appreciation for a person you may really care about. It poisons the intimate, face-to-face connection that all of us crave and that all of these technologies were created to foster, not destroy. It's behavior that says "I'm not that into you," even when you may be.
As cell phone technology has advanced, users have been more and more trained to look for that "greener grass." This habit robs them of the enjoyment of the moment, time spent with the people who like them enough to make time to be with them in person. Being an adult is about making sacrifices and taking the chance on committing to something to reap deeper rewards. Only kids float from place to place, always searching, always proving and impressing, and never stopping to revel in the intrinsic satisfaction of the current experience. Having a short attention span and taking people for granted are immature traits.
So take a chance on the person in front of you, and let the rest of the world find someone else to dance with for an hour.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Communication Clutter
Do you ever feel like you’re juggling all of the people who seem to need your full attention immediately? Many of the gadgets released over the past 20 years seem to have made conquering your communication clutter harder, rather than easier. Use these tips to prioritize your communications, give you focus, and make you feel less frazzled.
1. It’s an old sales trick: the person in front of you is more important than the person on the phone. Good customer service reps will serve the person at the counter, and put the incoming phone call on hold. Try the same thing in your life. The person in front of you gets priority over anyone who calls or texts you on your cell phone. You can always check your voicemail and text messages in an hour, and the person that found time to sit down for a meal with you will appreciate your full attention. Of course, there are exceptions. If you are expecting an important call or get an emergency call, take it, but excuse yourself politely and make it brief.
2. Set boundaries with kids, and yourself. Inevitably, your kids will start talking to you as soon as you pick up the phone to call someone. Reiterate that it’s not polite to ask questions while someone is on the phone, and teach them what counts as an emergency. But hold up your end of the deal as well. Don’t spend all of your time on the phone or cell phone, especially when you’re with your children.
3. Make email lowest priority. It’s easy to get tied up reading and sending emails. If you have trouble finding time in your schedule, try checking email only a few times a day. Notify people that you are not constantly connected, so they know they need to call you if there is an emergency.
4. What’s an emergency? People will call you with urgency in their voice all of the time. But is there problem really an emergency? Remember the old saying: “lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Emergencies are events that require immediate action. If it can wait three or four hours, it’s not an emergency. Allow yourself not to be everyone’s keeper. (This change will make a lot of things in your life easier!)
1. It’s an old sales trick: the person in front of you is more important than the person on the phone. Good customer service reps will serve the person at the counter, and put the incoming phone call on hold. Try the same thing in your life. The person in front of you gets priority over anyone who calls or texts you on your cell phone. You can always check your voicemail and text messages in an hour, and the person that found time to sit down for a meal with you will appreciate your full attention. Of course, there are exceptions. If you are expecting an important call or get an emergency call, take it, but excuse yourself politely and make it brief.
2. Set boundaries with kids, and yourself. Inevitably, your kids will start talking to you as soon as you pick up the phone to call someone. Reiterate that it’s not polite to ask questions while someone is on the phone, and teach them what counts as an emergency. But hold up your end of the deal as well. Don’t spend all of your time on the phone or cell phone, especially when you’re with your children.
3. Make email lowest priority. It’s easy to get tied up reading and sending emails. If you have trouble finding time in your schedule, try checking email only a few times a day. Notify people that you are not constantly connected, so they know they need to call you if there is an emergency.
4. What’s an emergency? People will call you with urgency in their voice all of the time. But is there problem really an emergency? Remember the old saying: “lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Emergencies are events that require immediate action. If it can wait three or four hours, it’s not an emergency. Allow yourself not to be everyone’s keeper. (This change will make a lot of things in your life easier!)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Multitasking: A Professor's Insightful Video
Recent studies have been showing that multitasking is no longer a virtue, it's just doing two things poorly at the same time. As younger generations surround themselves with more electronics, we wonder if they are overcoming this multitasking pitfall. This video explains how the brain works (in a fun way) and why most multitasking still hurts learners more than it helps.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34OZ-dsNkBw
"Professor Daniel Willingham looks at multi-tasking and concludes that even though kids today may like to multi-task, there's no reason to think that they are different than previous generations; they don't *need* to multi-task to be engaged and, like everyone else, kids today can't do two things at once as well as they can do one."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34OZ-dsNkBw
"Professor Daniel Willingham looks at multi-tasking and concludes that even though kids today may like to multi-task, there's no reason to think that they are different than previous generations; they don't *need* to multi-task to be engaged and, like everyone else, kids today can't do two things at once as well as they can do one."
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Local Shredding Events
The Borough of Brookhaven, PA, is having their annual "Shred It!" event on Saturday, May 15, from 9 am to 1 pm. Call 610-874-2557 for details.
Maybe your town has a free shredding event coming up too! Check your town's website, newsletter, or call the office. 'Tis the season for shredding!
Maybe your town has a free shredding event coming up too! Check your town's website, newsletter, or call the office. 'Tis the season for shredding!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tackle the Paperwork
Tax season has just passed, and it’s a great time to organize your paperwork. If you don’t have a filing system, or if yours just needs a tune-up, here are some suggestions.
1. Get all of your paperwork in one place. It’s difficult to organize your files if you have boxes in several rooms.
2. Separate your paperwork into piles by subject. If you already have files set up, you may be able to use them for your new system. If you don’t have file folders, put documents in piles and use sticky notes to assign subjects. Broader subjects are better than very specific ones, so you avoid having only one piece of paper per folder and many folders. You can always go back and get more specific later.
3. Purge excess paperwork. Create piles for trash, recycling and shredding. Use a guide like Catherine Williams’ “How long to keep financial records” article from Bankrate.com to decide how long to keep certain documents. It’s usually seven years for tax returns and 45 days to seven years for credit card statements.
4. Make your file folders. Use the sticky notes as a guide. I suggest Pendaflex hanging file folders with removable plastic subject tabs. They make it convenient to change subject labels in the future. Place your documents in the labeled folders.
5. Assess your file storage. Now that you know how much paperwork you have, make sure you have file furniture to store it and to grow. Office supply stores have a wide selection of filing cabinets, as well as more “open” filing furniture and racks. Make your system your own, and it will be easier to find things.
6. Create a file index. Look at your file folders and write or type a list of the subjects on the tabs. Keep this list near your files. It will help you find the right file, before you even open your cabinet. It will help other members of your household as well.
7. Dedicate time to file regularly. Try to find a half hour a week to file. Keep on top of it and your “to file” pile won’t be quite as intimidating!
1. Get all of your paperwork in one place. It’s difficult to organize your files if you have boxes in several rooms.
2. Separate your paperwork into piles by subject. If you already have files set up, you may be able to use them for your new system. If you don’t have file folders, put documents in piles and use sticky notes to assign subjects. Broader subjects are better than very specific ones, so you avoid having only one piece of paper per folder and many folders. You can always go back and get more specific later.
3. Purge excess paperwork. Create piles for trash, recycling and shredding. Use a guide like Catherine Williams’ “How long to keep financial records” article from Bankrate.com to decide how long to keep certain documents. It’s usually seven years for tax returns and 45 days to seven years for credit card statements.
4. Make your file folders. Use the sticky notes as a guide. I suggest Pendaflex hanging file folders with removable plastic subject tabs. They make it convenient to change subject labels in the future. Place your documents in the labeled folders.
5. Assess your file storage. Now that you know how much paperwork you have, make sure you have file furniture to store it and to grow. Office supply stores have a wide selection of filing cabinets, as well as more “open” filing furniture and racks. Make your system your own, and it will be easier to find things.
6. Create a file index. Look at your file folders and write or type a list of the subjects on the tabs. Keep this list near your files. It will help you find the right file, before you even open your cabinet. It will help other members of your household as well.
7. Dedicate time to file regularly. Try to find a half hour a week to file. Keep on top of it and your “to file” pile won’t be quite as intimidating!
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